I Date Not

My friends want to know. Co-workers want to know. Family members wonder. Why don't you date? Why don't you have a boyfriend? At first I just didn't know.  I think I'm pretty fabulously great... In my head that is. 

There is only one guy who can say he was my boyfriend and I'd agree. We dated in high school but didn't survive my freshman year of college. I was heart broken when he felt that he had to let me go, or so I thought at the time. I got over it. It's been 10 years and I haven't had a boyfriend since. There's a few guys who'd say they were my boyfriend but I never agreed to it. Just because we dated for a while, had some likability, and talked about being boyfriend and girlfriend does not mean we got there. We didn't.

It's been so long since I've been  united with someone in mutual understanding of togetherness that it'll take my full capacity to give it another go. I sucked at it then and probably suck even more now. I almost can't imagine it. Sure at times it'd be nice to know someone is thinking of you affectionately even when he isn't by your side. It'd be nice to get a hug once in a while or have a companion who is at your beck and call and has to hang out with you. That's all good and dandy but then they'd have expectations of me. They would want to talk and  expect to hear from me and get to know me. I don't know me! What am I supposed to tell them?

I'm open to dating as long as he doesn't have crazy questions to ask. Like, what do you do? What are your interest? When was your last relationship? How come you have been single for so long? The only aspect of dating that is appealing is getting dolled up and have all expenses paid. I'm not open to the question and answer session that is expected upon agreement of the interaction. So I don't date. 

I don't need anyone trying to set me up either. I'm good. I know I'm not trying to date but some of the options being thrown at me are absolutely RIDICULOUS! No I'm not interested! Just because I'm experiencing  a monumental self crisis doesn't mean I've lost all sense of self worth! Just recently I was visiting with friends and an older gentleman present was expressing his frustrations with his 41 year old grown son. The son came up because he called the father asking for a ride home. The dad opened up about how much of a screw up his son has been all his life and how hard it is to cope with as a parent. I know for a fact I was not the only one who heard this. Why in the world would my friend suggest the gentleman set his son up with me?! REALLY??? A 41 year old man calling his dad for a ride? I was speechless! I think I'm good over here by my lonely self. Thanks , but NoO  THANKS!